For us introverts, it’s so much easier to NOT say what’s bothering us. We would rather deal with the annoyance/hurt/betrayal than speak it, for fear that we might upset the delicate balance of what we call our lives.
Maybe this isn’t an introvert thing. Maybe this is a highly-sensitive thing. Or maybe it’s just a people-pleasing thing. I don’t know.
All I know is that I kept my mouth shut for way too long because I didn’t realize that my feelings, opinions, and thoughts were worthy of being spoken out loud. I’m so glad I finally started speaking up for myself. I will no longer be a victim of circumstance and you shouldn’t either.
Avoiding confrontation so meekly comes across as…passive-aggressive because we become resentful. Ugh. Gross.
So, you don’t want to have difficult talks? Who does? I had to finally realize that no one actually enjoys this. People have these talks so that they can communicate in an effective way.
Communication is everything. Here are some ways you can better express yourself if you are struggling with this.
- Be honest by saying what you are feeling inside. Believe it or not, this can actually make things better where holding it in can make them worse. Don’t feel valued by your significant other? Tell him. How else is he supposed to know what you need? We all have different love languages. He needs to know yours so that he can love you the way you need to be loved.
- Ask. What you think is going on may actually not be going on. You have possibly made this entire scenario up in your head. (This is where anxiety comes in to play.)
- If you have a different opinion/idea, say it. If you are in a meeting and have an amazing idea in your head, share it! You never know it may be just the perfect thing…or not, but you’ll never know if you don’t speak up.
Just a couple more words of wisdom:
- You can’t be upset if someone doesn’t do what you want if you don’t tell them what you want. No one is a mind reader!
- People know you are upset, even if you don’t tell them. You aren’t hiding that and sometimes it comes off worse than if you had just come out and said what you are upset about.
So I leave you with this, what you have to say, all those thoughts in your head, are important. They need to be said. They need to be heard. Don’t be afraid to share your wisdom. You never know who you could be helping out.
*If you are struggling with confidence and staying positive, check out this Ultimate Positivity Resource Library here -> tinyurl.com/positivitylibrary*