Let’s talk about boundaries: What they are, why we need them, and how to set them

 

What they are:  boundaries are limits or spaces between you and the other person. They can be physical or emotional.

It’s pretty much what’s ok with you and what’s not okay with you. What exactly do you feel comfortable with?

 

Why we need them: Peace of mind and sense of self.

We need to develop a strong identity of ourselves, not what others want us to be, or do. We also need them to avoid resentment, anger, and burnout in our jobs and relationships.

 

How to set them:

 

 

The next time you feel like you are drowning, try the actions above and let me know how it goes. You are in the driver’s seat.

Has this ever happened to you? 

You have the best of intentions. A big goal all planned out. You start the day off with these plans and try to keep them in the back of your mind all day…but then when it comes to actually doing them, you put it off until after lunch. Then, until after work. Aaannnd, you put it off until after dinner. Until you realize it’s bedtime and you haven’t done anything on your to-do list. Ugh, now you cant’ sleep because you’re anxious about all the things you didn’t do.

Don’t worry. You’re not the only one! I promise. A lot of people have been there. Me, for one. 

Here’s the good news: It doesn’t have to be this way. Here are some things that have worked for me.

1. Make a to-do list. Don’t just try to keep it in your head. You will forget something. You can use an app or good ol’ pen and paper. I like the Anote app and Asana (but that’s more for businesses).  

2. Start with the thing you want to do the least. I knooowww, sucks, right? Well, I read/listened to a book called

Eat That Frog!

The gist of the book is if you eat a live frog the first thing in the morning everything else is gonna be a piece of cake. It comes from the Mark Twain quote at the bottom of this email. Do the hard things first. It will be so. much. easier. to do the rest.


3. Check things off as you go. As you cross those tasks off, your brain gets a little hit of dopamine (the “feel-good chemical.”) It makes you feel accomplished and motivates you to do more!

4. If you are working towards a larger goal, make it a habit. Set a certain time of day you do what you need to do. Non-morning people *raises hand* don’t want to hear this, but getting up 30 minutes to an hour earlier can make a huge difference in your daily productivity, especially if you are up before everyone else in your house!

These are just a few of the ways I’ve discovered to be more productive in my day. Are any of these new to you? I’d love to hear your favorite tip! Leave me a comment to let me know.


P.S. Have you joined the Set Your Soul Free FB community yet? If not, what are you waiting for? Get on in there!

I talk a lot about empowerment.

The reason is that I used to be/play a victim of my circumstances. I let a chain of events that happened determine my worth and my meaning.

I don’t want you to go through the same thing.

I want you to be able to take control of your life and do, or be, what you can to change what you don’t like about it.

What can you control to make your life more like you want it?

I bring it up today because I have been going through this exact thing and I didn’t even realize it. I was blaming and feeling powerless. I finally realized the reason I was feeling this way was that I was handing my power over rather than taking ownership of my emotions and feelings.

The truth is, no one can hurt you without your permission. They can’t make you feel a certain way unless you allow it.

If someone does something that hurts your feelings, it sucks. Yep, it was sh*#ty. Yep, they shouldn’t have done that. But you get to choose how you react and how it affects you.

Are you going to let it bring you down to be Negative Nancy or Debbie Downer (womp womp), OR are you going to hear it, process it, and let it go?

You know your truth and who you are inside. Take back your power. You own you.

If something bad happens, it’s okay to feel those feelings but, then, you have to pick yourself up and be gangsta.

You HAVE to move forward. You have big dreams and great things to do. Do NOT let someone else’s stuff hold you back. Not only could you be hurting yourself but you could be holding back something that could help other people out. That’s something to think on.

*If you are struggling with confidence and staying positive, check out this Ultimate Positivity Resource Library here -> tinyurl.com/positivitylibrary*